I can honestly say without one shred of doubt, that the past two weeks have been the hardest of my entire life.
After a year long battle with lung cancer, I lost my Best Friend and Father on January 6th, 2015. Throughout Dad's illness and treatment, he was so very brave and strong and he managed to maintain a positive attitude the entire time. I can honestly say that from the time that he was diagnosed, right up until the end I never heard him make a negative comment about his health or the situation that he was in. Dad managed to meet every Doctor's appointment, treatment and decision that he and Mom had to make with his head up and with the best possible outcome in mind. I have always admired my Father and he was always my hero, but after seeing what he went through and the way that he handled it, I have a new found respect for him. I can only hope that when my time comes, I can be half as brave as my Father was over the past year.
The amount of support that my Mother, the rest of my family and I have received over the past weeks has been overwhelming for me. The number of people who visited us at the funeral home, attended the funeral service, sent cards, letters, phone calls, text messages, Emails, Facebook messages and posts has been unreal, and are all a true testament to the type of man that my Father was. All of this support that we have received since his passing means more to us than I can ever express and I can assure you that it will never be forgotten. My Dad was truly loved and admired by MANY, MANY people from far and wide, and he loved many people in return. I have heard many times over the past two weeks from so many people with heart felt sincerity, that my Father was a true icon, wealth of knowledge, and well respected man in our area, all of which have given my family and I a great deal of comfort recently.
Growing up on the water, the son of a Commercial Waterman, I have so many great memories of being with him on the water. From the time that Dad was young, until the middle 1980's his main occupation was that of fishing pound nets. I can't express with words how much I enjoyed going with Dad during the summers to fish his traps. It was always a big guessing game for me to think about what type of fish and how many of them would be in each trap every morning. I can remember as clear as yesterday those early mornings sitting on the bow of his boats the Dudley and Mary Trew, talking to Dad's crewman Thomas Lewis, or back on the stern with my Dad as he steered the boat out of the creek talking about what I thought would be in the nets that morning. I know now that I probably bugged them back then, and I am sorry now but I simply couldn't help it at the time. Getting in the skiff with Dad and Thomas inside the pocket of the fish trap, pulling on the net and herding the fish into one spot and then bailing them into the boat was the neatest thing for me.
It was almost like opening presents during a birthday, because you never knew what would come out of the net next. Needless to say, these experiences left a big impression on me, and the fact that I made those memories with my Father makes them that more important. As I got older, I was expected to help out with many aspects of Dad's operation. As a result of having done this type of work, I can honestly say that Commercial Watermen engage in some of the toughest work that I have ever been witness to. Having participated in this industry has given me a great appreciation for hard work, which I attempt to apply to everything that I engage in.
As the quality of fishing declined in our area, and laws became more restrictive, my father had to make a tough decision. I remember one night in the mid 80's, when my Mother told me that Dad was not going to put out his fish traps that spring, and that he would be going to work as Mate on the menhaden boat Weems that was Captained by my Cousin, Paul Somers. He would be doing this while converting our family's boat Dudley into a charter boat and that he would be carrying sport fishing parties for a living instead of pound net fishing. Looking back, this was a huge life change for my Father, one which took a TREMENDOUS amount of fortitude on his part. Dad would be working on the complete opposite end of the fishing spectrum from what he has been operating on his entire life. Up until that time, I could only remember a hand full of times that we had gone "sport fishing", but thanks to many of Dad's friends, fellow Charter Boat Captains and a lot of determination, he made it work and managed to build quite a charter business over the 30 years that he operated.
During the first couple years that Dad operated and built his charter business, he had some open dates which allowed my family and I to go along on practice trips. Fortunately, during this time the Chesapeake Bay was full of BIG bluefish which are in my opinion, a tremendous sport fish. Pound for pound, I don't know of any fish that puts up as big of a fight. I can still remember the first big bluefish that I caught with my Dad on the Dudley with hook and line. I had never experienced a fight like that before, and from that day on I was hooked for life. As much as I had loved pound netting, I had to admit that catching fish with fishing poles instead of nylon net was pretty cool.
As a couple years past, I became old enough to work for my Father as his Mate. For many summers I got to fish with my Dad nearly every day, and during this time I learned a tremendous amount from him. Not only did I learn many of the techniques that we use to catch fish in this area, I learned how to interact with lots of different types of people, which has served me well over the years. Dad was always congenial and had a way of dealing with people that put them at ease, and let them know that he appreciated their friendship. This trait is something that I truly admired in him and something that I strive to emulate. Over the years, I have continued to fish with my Father nearly every weekend that he had fishing parties scheduled. In fact, Dad and I were out on the bay together right up until three months ago. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to spend as much time with my Father doing something that we both enjoyed. I have a lifetime of memories that I will cherish for the rest of my days, and there won't be a day that I won't think of him. I can only hope that I have pleased him with the way that I have lived my life so far, and that I can continue on in a way that he would approve of.
There is no way to summarize the life of a man like my Father in a forum like this, in fact I could probably write a book on the subject. Rather, I just wanted to share a few of my thoughts and a few memories of my Dad that I admired and have influenced me over the years. I sure do miss my Father, and I will for the rest of my life. It makes me feel better to know that he is in a much better place now where there is no more illness and that he is now in the company of his family and friends that have gone before him. I only hope that I get to see him again on the other side once the trials of my probationary state are over.
